no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
