I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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