Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
