Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I wear drunk well.
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