but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
