I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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