I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
