in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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