Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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