Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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