I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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