Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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