Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We got so high we made milksteak
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize