maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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