he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
