i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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