i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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