I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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