When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
