then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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