The maid of honor just puked.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
