if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
