these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
