I faked an abortion last night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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