Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
