what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
