We won't sleep together?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
