After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Everyone says I win the strip club
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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