i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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