you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
