that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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