i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
