He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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