apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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