You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
