How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
