the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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