the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
