Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
