I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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