Screwed.edu
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
