Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
