she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
