just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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