So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
