with your own penis?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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