I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
NoShamevember. You game?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
