So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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