The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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