I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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