My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
