I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
