It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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