Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
