Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
