The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
try to milk me bitch
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