tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
