the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
