Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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