oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He passed out mid-signature
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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