You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
