Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize