Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
